Riding the Struggle Bus, Living the Dream

Everyone thinks that a girl’s dream is to find a perfect guy. They are wrong because a girl’s only dream is to eat a lot without getting fat.

(Source: fuckyeahjp, via feyminism)

I love books more than I love most things.  They rank up there with ice cream on the list of things that always make me happy.  Sometimes I spend whole days with no human contact in favor of reading.  These are always good days.

So it’s not surprising that I seized the opportunity to stock up when Borders announced it’s impending doom.  (I’m really depressed by that, by the way.  It is my favorite bookstore ever.) I drove to Borders straight from work.  Even though it was the middle of rush hour in Tallahassee, and by now news of the sale had spread to most of the world, I was trusting in the idea that most of the people of Tallahassee, Florida are not avid readers and might not even know what Borders was, let alone where to find the only one in town.

When I got to Borders and it took me 10 minutes to find parking I was more happy than irritated.  People had invented parking spots around the edges of the lot. They were circling around trying to find a place to park the car.  If the people of Tallahassee care so much about reading, I thought, there’s hope for humanity. Right?  When I walked inside and saw the line sprawling across the front of the store I was even more excited.  Some of the people inside boosted my mood even more.  One girl with a pile of Scott Westerfeld books was loudly mourning the loss of her favorite bookstore.  A twenty-something man asked me if I knew where the sequel to Ender’s Game was.  Also, there were only 2 copies of any John Green books left in the store! (Yay Tallahassee Nerdfighters!) 

After finally deciding on about $150 worth of books I got on line.  I wasn’t even mad about the impending 20 minute wait.  People love books! Everyone is reading! I love life!  Then… the illusion comes crashing down.

The woman in front of me had 3 copies of the same issue of People magazine.  The woman in front of her had two DVDs and a cookbook.  One girl on line behind me with her boyfriend had nothing in her hand, but exclaimed that she “loved these novelty books because they weren’t too long and had lots of pictures.” 

I’m not judging, though. Really.  I’m not!  All I keep thinking, though, is that if you can go into a bookstore that’s going out of business, where EVERYTHING is on sale, and the only thing that looks interesting enough to buy is a copy of Harry Potter on blue ray, there is something deeply wrong with you.

I mean, come on, you really should have had that DVD already.

* HOW BAD IS LIGHTNING IN FLORIDA? Of the 50 United States, Florida is the lightning capital. While the most frequent lightning strikes occur in the Tampa Bay area, the chance of being struck by lightning in Florida is 1 in 3,000 over the course of a lifetime. Statistically, that means 20 Seminoles walking on campus today will be struck by lightning at some point in their life, if they stay in Florida. Florida accounts for 16% of the average annual fatalities in the United States.

I found this on the FSU emergency management website.  I now have a healthy fear/respect for Florida thunderstorms.

Today I arrived home at my apartment in Tallahassee, Florida after a long morning of air travel.  My two wonderful friends and future roommates drove me home from the airport, and as I was stepping out of the car I was nearly hit in the head by a large insect.  It was something like a cross between an oversized wasp and a mosquito.  This is not the first time a really ridiculously large insect has flown directly into me.  It’s gotten to be so that I react the same way as if I bumped into someone walking down the sidewalk.  Sometimes I’ll even say “Oh, sorry” before I realize that the thing I bumped was a bug, and probably can’t understand me (although Disney and Pixar definitely have me considering the possibility that they can.)

If you have never encountered a Tallahassee insect, there are some things you should know about them.  The first is that they have no concept of humans’ personal space.  The second is that they like to get their kicks by trying to give me a heart attack.

After unpacking and straightening up my apartment a bit (my roommate had cleaned most of it while I was gone, so I was shamed into cleaning my room), I went to use the bathroom.  Inside my tub was a friendly bug who had come out to welcome me home!  This is not the first time I have found a bug in my bathtub.  In fact, my bathroom is one of the bugs favorite place to scare the heck out of me (especially Karma Spider, who lives there).  This bug, however, by far had the most legs of any bug I have ever found in my tub. 

Fortunately, by this point I have become so jaded that I barely panicked.  I merely scooped up the millipede (I know it is a millipede and not a centipede, because centipedes are much harder to catch and normally prefer my bedroom to the bathroom) in my Disney Princess cup and proceeded to make my way out to the patio to set it free outside.  See? I’m very considerate of the insects and their little practical jokes. 

Of course, when it tried to escape from the cup I ended up beheading the poor thing with the princess cup, but really, southern hospitality can only be expected to go so far.